iamtotaled

Big Eyed Fish

2004-05-22T16:58:17Z

Another one: See this monkey sitting on a tree,
One day, decided to climb down,
And run off to the city.
Look at him now, Tired and drunk
And living on the street.
As good as dead.
You see, a monkey should know,
Stay up your tree.

But, oh God,
Under the weight of life,
Things seem brighter on the other side.
Oh, God,
But under the weight of life,
Things seem much brighter on the other side.

iamtotaled @ 2004-05-10T12:54:00

2004-05-10T19:55:11Z

You ever think about how cool it would be if ur name was bob?
Then people could say "no prob bob"
And thats pretty neat if you ask me.

As i came up with this to Kevin...i managed to press some combination of buttons that erased it from the conversation on my screen...what these elusive buttons are i do not know, but soon, i will find out!

Done

2004-05-09T22:44:47Z

So first off, Happy Bothers day to everyones mom, especially MINE!

Well the last week was hectic. Work Monday, Midterm Tuesday, Paper Due Thursday, 2 Midterms FRIDAY...and my stitches out, but now its all done. No more serious work minus the norm for the next few weeks. The Beta schedule is busy for the next few weeks and promises to be a good time ahead of us. Beta softball this weekend (Open Party SATURDAY NIGHT, be there). Other then that, i got my stitches out, the cut looks clean and im good to go. Have to plan out my school schedule for summer fall next year...should be some fun planning time, but i have a week to do it.

I had an interesting thought the other day, but i forget it, so when i remember it ill post it...how's about that?

Eh im tired...later.

Econ Rocked Me

2004-05-04T21:13:57Z

So yea the econ 2 midterm was pretty hard...that kinda sucked. We'll see how me and K Ham did , hopefully well. 2 More to go and a paper. Have a social with AXO tonight, dont think im gonna go with my condition. I can finally ride a bike again which is neat. I got a tetnis shot in my left hand so looks like im gonna have to use the right (2nd floor). Got the Int20 paper due thursday and the 2 music midterms friday. Gonna take m17 pass/fail cause i dont care 2 much but i can easily pass , but i gotta make sure to study for m11 to get the 100 in that class that everyone should get. That's about it...im talking to laur right now and i really enjoy talking to her cause she is SUPER. Mwah.

Later Kids...

Ouch

2004-05-03T01:44:46Z

So this weekend was eventful...not in a good way, but still. So we had Sig Ep football on Saturday after winning one and losing one, during our last game vs. Theta Chi came the fun. We were up 3 touchdowns with 1 minute to go and Ari and I decided we really wanted to sack the QB in our efforts ... we managed to miss the qb and collide head on into each other (head to head = bad combination) as we converged for the QB resulting in an immediate trip to the ER (thanks J guy for driving us). Ari took 7 stitches to the eyebrow and Me 10 to the eye lid...fun stuff lemme tell you. But to make the story more interesting after they took me in to the waiting room...they told me i was next a few times until finally an hour and 1/2 passed of me sittin in the operating room alone afraid to fall asleep, because they might think im having a concussion or something, so utter boredom set in. I also managed to bang up my left leg pretty bad to the point where i cant fully bend it...so that sucks too. Last night after the "collision" I hung out with Ari and passed out on his sofa watching movies as Sara woke us up every now and then to make sure we didnt have a concusion in the middle of the night (thanks Sara) and Ari...well yea the stories will go from here.

So...

2004-04-29T20:02:52Z

This week has been full of notin. No funny stories that i can share with you kids, but i promise you a few from the weekend. Gotta go coach AEPhi today for softball, should be fun, go softball and go AEPhi? Midterms are coming up...and i dont really care that much, is that bad? For the record music classes are soooo easy and such a joke, take them. (m11 and m17). The stupid gym is closed because of a power outtage, but since when do you need lights to work out? Shit, ill work out in the dark for all i care. Seriously...that makes less and less sense the more i think about it. The gym is an interesdting place in general w hen u think about it. But ill leave that issue for another day. Hmm....yeah. k.

Been a while (again)

2004-04-26T04:34:42Z

God damn it, i was a quarter of a page done with this post and i closed the window by mistake, don't ask. Ok, so anywase...its been a while since i posted, figured for those of you who do read this and for my own sake id post some things for people to read and keep updated, esp for the people i dont get too talk to as much as before, and the people i still dont feel 100% open to talk about everything really. So this quarter i feel like i should have taken harder classes because i really feel bored and feel like im slacking, as absurd as that sounds. I do enjoy the time to go to the gym, pool, reading books, etc... but i feel like i should do more towards school, so im gonna get on that. Maybe another job will help. Speaking of Jobs, i got this pretty bomb job at Campus General Store. I need to start working on it, but basically i have to market to the greek community and clubs custom apparel and such, bags, w/e u name it and hopefully i can make some good $ on that, because its getting sad watchin the bank acccount just go down and not back up...boo on that. So yeah if your in a sorority or w/e reading this and need anything done i can hook you up , it'll be good times and such. Maybe ill go work at bargain network on top of this, eventhough its a shitty job, if i can make $$ for now and that will help.

Just came back from meeting today for elections and such. Same kinda sentiment granted there are some other great guys who havnt gotten positions i just feel like the house is turning into a big popularity contest and I don't think it should exactly be like that. I really love the house, but i still dont feel the same emotion back. I see some guys talk about how much the house has given them, but i really dont feel that yet. The new guys i know will help me feel a lot more at home, as they have already, but i want to form a closer bond with my pledge class (As silly as that may sound) Sometimes i think id be better off in the pledge class under me (and maybe thats true), but i really do like the guys in my pledge class, i guess it'll just take time for things to come around. I also really feel the image i have of myself is not what everyone else sees and i think its gonna take time to change that. My actions over pledge quarter didnt rreally speak well for me, and i dont really believe they reflected my true character as i was new to school and was just trying to fit in way to hard when i shouldn't have. It is a two way street and im willing to give other people a chance if they were willing to do the same, so we'll c how that goes. With that i ran for social chair for elections, and didn't get it. I was really bummed. i truly thought id do a good job at it and be on top of my shit, but i guess that wasnt the sentament of the house, so oh well, life goes on.

Then, referring to an older post. Things in general in life have been gettin better. Lauren and I have been talking a lot which is good to keep our bond, and i really hope that will say when she goes to school in Virginia, we'll c how that goes, hopefully for the best. She really is a vital part in my life and i love having her in my life.

On a less serious note and things...ISVT (Inter Sorority Volleyball Tournament) was this saturday, is was pretty badass. Was a really cool event at our school and was awesome to see so many people out durin the day havin a good time. With lamba shutting down, im wondering and hoping that we can take over that tournament, cause it would deff be a blast to run.

Well its nearing 10 o'clock and im tired, so i think im going to go to sleep and hopefully wake up early tomorrow to go for a run or something.

Sorry

2004-04-22T22:57:46Z

Sorry for lack of posts lately for those of you who do read this. I been pretty busy and such and just have had nothing to write about, but dont worry folks, soon, very soon.

YAY

2004-04-15T17:48:39Z

So yea last night we had a social with the Delts, i dont really know how many girls or anything showed up, but i had an amazing night. This new pledge class is fucking awesome and its soo fucking awesome to have my friends from before at the events with me now. The guys from seattle are awesome 2, so its just a fucking awesome time.

THe Lakers won last night putting them into 2nd, cause sac lost (ha), and Kobe has by far earned the spot as the best player in the NBA right now.

So in general...i dont really know what useful info this post has, but the point is FUCK YEAH

FRIDAY!!!: PARTY AT BETA!!! BE THERE!!!!

Ladeeda

2004-04-12T17:54:21Z

Well i went to SD for the weekend, despite all the fun stuff going on here in SB to see my girl Lauren for the weekend while she was in SD for break. It was very nice, but seemed like it ended before it started, very short lived, but deff very very nice to see her smiling personality for the weekend. I don't know what to do with her going to college in Virginia. I love her to death, but i have no idea how things will work out with us soo far apart for a few years, i guess Fate is the only one with the answer for this one. Got to hang with my homie Chris 2, which was a lot of fun. I don't know what else to see, times like that make me real happy to hang out with the people close to me and just have fun no matter what.

Good news though here in SB, all my friends i brought by that i wanted to join Beta, did. Shouts to them: Carl, Karill, Chris, Daniel, and Bryan. So thats really awesome and im looking forward to this quarter in the house, should be a lot of fun. Then the summer comes along and we move in, so it should be a good time.

I got new cleats too at home, so now its time to soccer it up and get good (or atleast ill try).

It's also my mommy's b-day today which is yay for her. Happy b-day mommy.

Overall things are very good and im glad to be here.

SD

2004-04-09T17:50:27Z

Well I'm gonna be going to SD for the weekend, maybe a little bit longer, we'll C. I'm a lil bummed in that i cant hang out with the new guys coming into the house till i get back, but ill make up for it.

The last few days have opened my eyes to a lot of things i have been missing and i been learning a lot. Instead of worrying about things i just need to be myself and open, not for others, but for me.

Also, ive had a lot of misconceptions and things about a lot of people and havn't given them a chance to see the quality aspects in them that i overlooked while looking for other things, and seeing those is a good thing, everyone has something positive to offer.

Through the years ive made some of the best friends of my life and i would give anything for them and i hope that trend only continues to grow and i know it will.

Rush

2004-04-09T08:44:32Z

So things are going a lot better as of late, opening up really helps. It's nice to know people are there for me. I think things will come to be and work out well. I need to be myself and thats that, and things will come to be.

In other news my boy CARL aka C- is joining BETA and IM FUCING AMPED ON THAT. My best friend in my house with me, i think we mi ght have 2 much fun.... is that possible? NOT only that but we have a fucking cool group of guys joining, which will be AWESOME! so im excited for that.

SO life is on the rise and thanks everyone for everything I love you guys.

wow.

2004-04-08T22:31:42Z

Thanks for all the comments and support on my last post. I will admit it was pretty sudden, but i had been thinkin this stuff for a while, and am still a lil shy to talk about it. Writing is a very nice outlet for me, if you didnt already know. i tend to write a lot of stuff, just cause.

I do agree with the one comment by someone, i Am not adjusting as well either and I am having a tough time getting adjusted to the rest, i wont say that the whole problem relies on people around me or the place.

But yeah, point is...thanks for all the support, i really love my friends beyond belief and u guys mean the world to me. And i am a lot happier then i come off in that last post, i mean my life isnt that bad, was just havin a rough night and had to outlet, but i reallly really apperciate the comments and i hope that post will be the first step to letting people into me a little bit more and maybe we can all see past the "first-impressions" and open up to each other and maybe ill find things I've been blind to see lately.

Shitty

2004-04-08T06:07:17Z

I know no one really reads this, but for some reason i feel like i have to vent, and i can't do it to my friends, because i really dont want to hurt their feelings or be mean or say anything stupid to lose the amazing friends i already have. And for some odd reason i feel like making this public.

Anywase, ill probably erase it in a day, but if you do read this...i guess cool.

Well so ive always had this shitty feeling since i moved from Philly, and it only gets worse and worse, everytime i think about being home i get teary eyed and wish i could go back. Now this is a combination of thing. But mostly it was the support of my friends there and my girlfriend. I was me at home, and people liked me for me, and there was no bs, and everything was just AWESOME. I didn't have to try to fit in, things just worked out, i had a lot of friends, had stuff to do all the time, had everything perfect.

Then i moved... (not to say its a bad thing, i really like the place of California) but WOW. People say yea it musta been hard Senior year with school and all, but school was and still is the least of my worries> i've always been smart and when i actually do my work school is a joke, and i dont really care for it much, now i just care about finishing and starting my company.

The thing that has been bugging me is the social aspect, and a lot of that is routed in my fraternity, but ill get to that later.

Since the day i moved, it was such a giant culture schock. Wow, i still have no idea wtf is going on out here, and even whe ni went to philly for the Summer felt x1000000 more times at home just going out to old palces, just felt more right for me. Maybe i do belong on the east, but ill deal with that after i graduate.

It seems like everyone out here is havin a great time partying, etc... but not Me. Yes i like to party and go out, but honestly half of the time i feel empty as fuck out, just makin bs friends and talking about bs things about fucking nothing and not really make any connections with anyone. There are a very select few people who i really like out here, but i can honestly, and sadly, say none i feel the same as for back in philly (you guys know who you are. Jake, Jon, Mike, and Mike, and my baby Lauren). And with that the other part that sucks, is because of the distance, and us being so busy in college, i feel like those relationships are starting to deteriate, because its tough to keep in touch. For instance, Matt and I barely talk anymore and Jake and Jon are very busy guys as well. It's not their fault , but i still hold our friendship above all and wish that we could stay closer, cause i miss them.

I think a lot of it also has to do with Lauren. Life was soo good at home having my baby only 2 hours from me. Now i have to think about how lonely i feel without her everynight and knowing i wont be able to be close to her for another 4 years because shes going to Old Dominion in Virginia, i can't fucking deal with it, im on the verge of tears just thinking about it. IT FUCING SUCKS! IT REALLY FUCKING SUCKS! I miss her so much, and maybe its the sad fact i realize im going to have to move on while we're apart until we can be together. I don't know how...its just too hard i always have my mind on her to really put any effort into any other girl. I see her this weekend for a few days, which should be real nice, hopefully we can talk and figure things out for the future, cause right now im confused, and i just want someone to hug me, and i want that to be her. I felt so much more comfortable always havin my girl knowin id see her all the time, she just made life sooo happy for me, nothing could kill my mood knowing id see her the next weekend, etc... Now if im lucky its maybe 4 times a year, AHHHHHHHHHHHH! i cant even talk more about this.

Then...to go on (i am going to be very blunt in this lil post, so if u read it and get offended, etc... GOOD, its what i really think so deal with it)

I don't really feel like anyone here knows me at all. Not even my roomate. Yes we talk in the roomate, but i dont think anyone has really gotten the time to actually know what im about. They just judge me from the outside about stupid shit, and things i do sometimes. And ill admit, that makes sense, but i havnt been myself since i moved. Imagine leaving on top of the world and then being SHIT here. It sucks, i want people to know what i can do and i dont want them to question me and i feel like i deserve a lot more respect from people that i get half the time, and it pisses me off and then i act strange. Then to build new friends i been trying everything to fit in , etc... and do stuff, etc... and its not fucking me and i come off like a fucking faggot and a tool and it sucks, cause i can't be ME here, cause i feel fucking awkward uncomfortable and depressed half the time, so i put up a front that revolves around girls, partying, and thats about it, which is fucking BS if u really know me.

Then there is my fraternity. I love the house, i really do. Beta is a great place, but right now i reaally feel like shit around the house. I dont feel comfortable at all at the house half the time. And its mostly cause i dont feel like im friends with anyone in my pledge class, minus Kevin. I feel like im the joke of the class, and the guy that cant be trusted, that acts like a tool, and is a slapdick. And it really pisses me off, cause i did fuck up earlier, and i been workin to show people im not like that and been puttin my full efforts for everything like rush etc... but yea it doesnt seem to matter to people, t hey already have their set impression of me and dont wanna gimmme a 2nd chance. I feel like teams have formed and i havnt been picked.I feel like i'm just aquanted with half the guys in the house but nothing more. No one really calls me to go out, etc... i call them, and i really like all the guys in my house and just wish they would involve me more. I feel like my confidence gets shot to fucking shit at the house. Like simple example is playing soccer. I used to be pretty good at soccer and wanna play with the guys here, but they go do their thing and i always feel left out when i just wanna hang out and get back in form for soccer. Little shit like that. I really feel like i havnt found my niche at all. I see how people react to my pledge-father, and trash talk him all the time, but hes a fucking good guy deep down and i dont think he deserves it at all. Yes he does dumb shit and says dumb shit, but hes the first guy id call if i REALLY needed somtin, cause i know he wont bs me and be there, and he has one of the biggest hearts (for the house atleast) ive seen. With that, it really fucking sucks, i feel like SHIT being around big meetings and shit half the time, like no1 respects me and no1 will even give me the time of day sometimes, and it SUCKS. I feel like i have to try so hard to be included and shit, and i dont really get why.

I really hope things get better in the house, cause i dont see the point in being in it sometimes, i really like it, but i really feel outkasted and like shit half the time im there, and really wish it would change, cause i really would like that, and that would make me a lot happier.

Rush really made me think about this, cause i was thinking, FUCK...i'm scared of some of my best friends joining the house cause of what other people will say about me and shit and then that might change. I know it prob wont, they are my friends for a reason. But seriously the fact that i even thought about that is pretty fucking shitty. I feel like i could be havin more fun outside of the house a lot of times and dont see why im there sometimes when it seems like half the guys dont even want me there , most specifically my pledge class.

SO this is one very long post but only the tip of the iceberg of things...i been repressing a lot of emotions since day one, and i am trying to let them out, and be me again, but its fucking hard dealing with these struggles day after day....i really hope things get better.

Just to add, i really would rather not just talk about this straight up. I don't know if im ready for that. I appreciate the support and i am reading what people write and thinking about it, but i wrote this for a reason and when im ready to talk about it with people i will.

Funny...

2004-04-05T22:12:51Z

It's funny how we all have soo many "friends" and people who act like that, but really only a few friends that we will keep through life. Truth is it all comes down to that moment where you actually need something that a friend would do without question, be it a ride somewhere, a pickup from jail, borrowing a book, etc... regardless of the matter. A true friend never questions it....while the others, yea they are your "friends".

On a lighter note. My thought of the day today in the presense of Kevin was: Don't you find it interesting that you dont see people wearing the same clothes more often? Especially at college. I mean you figure you see upwards of maybe 1000 people a day (in passing) but yet you never see the same clothes (more specific. just shirts) on people. Not even on the same day, but in general you never see the same shirt on different people very often. The clothes companies dont make that much stuff, so how is this possible that everyone wears something different all the time ? (or for the most part.) Just something to think about...

Curious

2004-04-04T02:02:56Z

Just woke up from a nap, curious...

Anyone read this?

Friday night

2004-04-03T10:19:04Z

So first off, im feeling a lot better, fever is gone and my throat is slowly feeling much better. Went to classes, handed in my Music 11 HW (100%)(Thanks Kevin for all of those) Easy Class, someone else should take it with me, the teacher is AWESOME 2, hes like a stand up comic, he's good times. Also, i dropped Phil 20C, cause who wants to learn about that? So now i have 15 units, so hopefully i get into History 2C so im back up to 19 like i want. So aside from that...

Interesting friday night, was a freshman like experience, went out with lots of people, and slowly lost them as we went. We were celebrating Big D's 19th (happy b-day buddy) but he dissapeared for the night, and that was that. Well in other news... Danni was pleasently surprised to find 8 people under her bed smoking hooka at 2 in the morning, but she found it pretty cool, which was neat. I did not par-take in the hookaness tonight, but instead i found a bag of munchies, yummy.

Funnies from tonight: "Wow, your black"
"O shit, she's smart, thats not good"

Tomorrow will be fun. Gerrard is havin a party at 6643 DP, and a lil sloshball will commense at dogshit park at some time.

morning.

2004-04-01T18:01:30Z

So its about 10 and i just got up. Not feeling 2 much better. Still running strong at 101.1. Body is feelin a tiny bit better, but my throat is killin me. Gonna have to go jack some salt from carillo to make some salt water to gargle. Got music 11 section at 11 and INT 20 at 6-9dunno if i i'll stay for the whole thing depending how i feel, i hope i get better, cause we have poker night at the house tonight, but if not ill be enjoying a lot of sleep and hopefully get better by monday.

Live Journal

2004-04-01T05:51:26Z

I decided i'm going to start writing a lil live journal here to kill some time and keep people informed in my funfilled and exciting life (well maybe not that exciting, but still).

Well its PRE-Rush week, with lots of fun stuff going on at Beta such as a Beirut Tournament, Poker Night (with a Geo as a prize), Slosh Ball, etc... but i managed to catch a fever. I don't know how or what caused it, but my throat hurts like a bitch and i've been havin aches and pains, feeling flush, dehydrated, and pullin a solid 102 degree fever.

I'm loading up on water and cranberry juice, and a lil vitamin C thanks to Steve-o. Being sick, sucks. I went to see the Dr. today, she said i may have mono, which would suck, but im not sure how i would have gotten that, so i dont think i do. I think i got sick sitting in my room without a shirt on after the gym with the window open (stupid me.)

Well, other then that, classes kinda suck. All my classes are early, which is good and bad. Good in that i get to have the whole day after class to enjoy the weather. Bad in that i have to be up early everyday and go to sleep earlier, but maybe its for the best. Im trying to crash into C36 or History 2C, i need to get into one of the two. Hopefully 36C over 2C, but we'll c what happens.

Other then that i have Econ 2, but my TA is much better then my econ 1 TA, so thats good.
Music 11 = Learning Notes and such, but the teacher is funny, so its all good.
Music 17 = Class for hippies, its pretty funny.
Phil 20C = Dropping (who wants to learn about the history of philosophy?)
Int 20 = Introduction to COllege (lol)

So, yes ill be pullin 19-20 units this quarter....exciting.

Well im going to go back to sleep and hopefully ill feel better tomorrow.

Posts from Profile

2004-04-01T05:39:47Z

3/20/04

So finals are done, yay? I got to finish early (Tuesday) opposed to the guys and girls who had to stay till saturday. So far soo good, came through in the clutch as far as i know, i hope my final grades match those results. I don't know whats going to happen with that now. I'm now home in SD for a week of fun (hopefully), but if nothing else relaxation, gym time, and tan time. Thats all for now kids...

3/10/04

Yea so i dont post much...i had a fantastic last weekend, Leigh came up cause she was home in SD for Spring Break and came to visit me, it was a blast seeing her again and hanging out with her. Went out with the boys from the 2nd floor Friday night as well, was a Fantastic time hanging out, very memorable lines from the nite and some funny videos as well. Now it is final time so i have been bunkering down getting my work done. I just finished a 7 page paper last night now working on another one with a Final on Thursday and 2 more next Tuesday, so im going to be a lil hermit for a lil while, but on the bright side....i finish finals the 16th and leave the 21st, so ill get to have fun before i go.

Cheers Kids...

3/1/04

Well I went home for the past weekend and it was very relaxing and just excellent for lack of better words. It felt very good to be home away from the crazyness of SB and being in a real house, etc... enjoying the company of my family and being able to take it very easy for a weekend away from the normal routine. In other news...finals are coming up...who's excited? im not. I need to do well so i am going to tuck in my shell and start studying like no other so i do well, anyone wanna keep me company? Other then that, life is peachy.

Later kids.

2/18/04

I been sick for the last 3 days and havn't done anything, which includes not going to class (minus classics discussion for a quiz). As sappy/corny as it sounds thanks to everyone for making me feel so much better while im sick. You know who you guys are, and thats why i consider you guys my true friends. (just to name a few: Grace (ty for the tea) Fadi and Steve (vitamin C), Ben for lookin out, Tina and Alison for keepin me company at Lunch, and everyone else who just asked how i was doing, it means a lot) Well, im gonna go back to sleep, hopefully super dan will feel better tomorrow.

2/15/04

Havn't written much in a while, because im in the process of making a website to put all this stuff on. Basically this weekend has been fun. Last night was an interesting valenites day. I came to the pleasent surprise of my wonderful roomate passed out upright in his chair. To this i took my que to video-tape him and interview his drunken ass, the humor insued and it was indeed funny. That makes video #3 to Dangerous Dan's Collection of Freshman Year in SB. That's the main jist of everything, really. Didn't do as well on midterms as i wanted 2, so that means i have to do a lot more work and study so i can't get fucked over by stupid fucking professors and TA's etc... Signed up for next quarter classes: Econ 2, Phil 20C, and Music 11, and who knows what else soon, either Global Studies 2 or somtin else. Hope everyone had a happy valentines day and for those of you who went home, hope you had a good time.

2/06/04-2/07/04

So i went in the ocean tonight...yea ask about that.

2/05/04

So I had my Econ 1 Midterm Today (it wasn't bad) The essay was really easy and the rest of the test was borderline hard. Then I went to the gym (leg and bike day). THen I had PSTAT, now its time to shower and eat. And start doing HW for tomorrow. Later Folks.

my RA loves me.

2004-03-08T06:41:03Z

Quoting Andrew Wells (My RA) Post about Me and my very Sexy ROomate (Ben)

I AM ENRAGED
I HATE MY RESIDENTS

I HATE DAN AND BEN
THEY LIVE NEXT TO ME
I HATE THEM
I HATE THEM
THEY MAKE ME MISERABLE
THEY RUIN MY LIFE
I HATE THEM
I HATE THEM
THEY FUCKING RUIN MY LIFE

here’s the story

If I try to go to bed at a decent hour-- meaning BEFORE FUCKING 2 AM--THEY KEEP ME FUCKING AWAKE
I went to bed at midngiht tonight.

They woke me up at 1.

It’s 1:50 now
I’m still awake
I’m fucking going to fucking kill their fucking fucking fucking loud asses.

they ruined my grades and my eval last quarter, because I never slept, because I had morning classes, and so I never got any fucking sleep.

or they would wake me up, and i would get so frustrated, that I would have so much adrenaline in my body-- as I do now-- that I can’t sit/lay still. Mybody twitches.

My hands shake

I’m half asleep,and at the same time

I’M FUCKING PISSED OFF PISSED OFF DIE DIE DIE DIE I WANT THEM TO LEAVE I WANT THEM TO BE EVICTED I WANT TO QUIT AND NEVER LIVE IN A FUCKING DORMITORY AGAIN.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. My residents LAST YEAR WERE NEVER THIS FUCKING BAD. I HATE THIS. I’M MISERABLE. ALL I WANT IS SLEEP. TAT’S ALL I WANT. SLEEP. SWEET REST. SLUMBER. SLEEP. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP. DEAR LORD PLEASE JUST LET ME HAVE SOME QUIET TIME, SOME SLEEP, AWAY FROM THIS GOD-FORSAKEN TOWER OF ASS-FACED MONKEY-FUCKING DRUG-SMOKING BEER-SWILLING ASS-CLOWNS WE CALL FRESHEMN I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM.

New.

2004-03-08T06:37:05Z

Well i decided to "blog" on these live journal things once again...so we'll see what ensues.